


Shit, Maybe I Miss You

by binchmarner



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Chronically Ill Remus, Fluff, James Potter is poc as he SHOULD BE, KIND OF goes along with text talk, Kind of rape tw?, M/M, Modern AU, no one gets raped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 04:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13240353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binchmarner/pseuds/binchmarner
Summary: Sirius and Remus have their first fight. Sirius goes out drinking with the Mates™ and it does Not Go Well. He just misses his Moony.





	Shit, Maybe I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Burning_Up_A_Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burning_Up_A_Sun/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Text Talk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651109) by [merlywhirls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlywhirls/pseuds/merlywhirls). 



> As always, this is for the lovely Sun.
> 
> Unbeta’d and un-Brit-picked!
> 
> This story is brought to you by the song [ Miss You. ](https://youtu.be/BfZrmV9Gf3I) Take a listen when you can, it’s a good song.

Sirius smirked into his pint, taking a gulp. He felt his inhibitions melt away as the cool liquid ran down his throat. Fuck it, he thought. He didn’t need Remus. Not when Barty Crouch was snogging the waitress from the bar. Not when Gideon was going on and on about footie drills and the strategy James had them practice all fucking day today in preparation for Saturday’s game against Slytherin.

Sirius would be lying if he said he wasn’t also thinking about how easy it was to just daydream about how Remus would press against him in the tight booth. Hot breath against his neck, maybe biting at his ear, as he grinned and said ‘let’s go find a quiet place.’ He felt his pants tightening as he gripped his phone—

_No, wait. He’s not here. Sirius thought. He’s made that pretty clear._

_“You just don’t understand, Pads. We can’t tell James. I’m not—it’s just—“ tears streamed down Remus’s cheeks as he leaned back against his pillow. He’d been put on temporary house arrest by his mother in fear of Remus’s declining health. So, Sirius shouldn’t be angry. He really shouldn’t be. But he is._

_“What? You’re not obviously a shirtlifter me?” Sirius tried not to lash out at his—boyfriend? Snog buddy? Somehow this didn’t feel like the right place to ask._

_“Yes! No, I don’t know. I’m just confused.” Remus couldn’t bear to look Sirius in the eyes. “Not that what you said dignifies a response on a good day.”_

_“Are you trying to piss me off, Re?” Sirius asked, scrubbing over his face. “Were you confused when you snogged me at the end of semi finals?”_

_“No! Why would you say that—“ Remus sat up, looking at Sirius, hurt and tears glazing his eyes over._

_“Because you’re not making much sense right now and frankly, you’re acting like a fucking coward.” The words slipped out of Sirius’s mouth, never to return. Remus’s mouth gaped open like he was about to say something._

_It was a moment before either one said anything. “Say something—“_

_“Get out.”_

_“What?” Sirius reeled back as if he’d been hit, his chest tightening as he saw fire in Remus’s eyes._

_“Get out.” Remus repeated louder. “Get out of here, if I’m such a coward!”_

_That was Monday._

“You alright mate?” Fabian pushed his ginger hair out of his eyes after he downed his pint. Sirius snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, giving the two brothers a laugh and a plastered on smile.

“I’m great. Everything is fucking great.” No. No it’s not. That’s a lie. James could tell too.

He checked his messages again.

(Monday 22:20) Moony I’m sorry

(Monday 22:45) goodnight Remus.

(Tuesday 12:30) Re please talk to me

(Tuesday 13:32) Moony?

(Tuesday 15:20) Moons I’m sorry

He was about to send ‘I miss you’, decided against it. He and Remus were their own people and if Remus wanted to be a dick and not answer, then, then, Sirius could lick his wounds in peace. Against his better judgement, Sirius pouted and locked his phone again, stuffing it into his pocket 

“No seriously Siri, you okay?” James murmured into Sirius’s ear, combatting the loud noise of the bar. Sirius poked at one of his dimples as he used his fake smile.

“Peachy keen, Captain.” He nodded, downing the rest of his beer. So what if it was only Tuesday night and he was hammered? “I’ve got the next round. Barty? Let the girl breathe.” Sirius joked as Barty paled, the girl—Melissa?—giggling against him.

“Dude, you sure you wanna do another round? It’s like, our fifth one.” James warned. Peter downed his and slammed it on the table with a Hell Yeah! already ready to break free from being squished against Barty and the wall.

“Does it even matter anyway?” Sirius asked, his eyes glazed over as if he were under a curse. And he was. He just didn’t want to admit he was heartbroken yet. “McGonagall won’t notice if we’re hungover. If Snivellus doesn’t tell of course.”

“Mate, you only drink like this when you’ve got bloke problems. What’s wrong? Who do I have to kill?” James asked. “Remus?”

“Nobody.” Sirius grabbed the next round on his tab. He set the pints on the bar and waited for them to be filled.

“Hello, love.” A man who looked startlingly similar to Remus smirked. “Fancy a drink?”

“N-no, I’ve got enough to give to a small nation.” Sirius joked, easily flustered at the mans voice—fucking hell, he even sounded like Remus.

“Shame. What’s a nice place like you doing in a guy like this?” Not Remus sipped at his whiskey and smirked in Sirius’s direction. Sirius smiled, his chest tightening in fear as he immediately kept himself aware of his surroundings.

“Out with friends. Footie celly. I really should get back to them—“ Sirius started to walk away but was stopped with a hand on his shoulder, tightly gripping him. The guy wasn’t going to let him go without a fight.

“No, stay,” Really Not Remus™ said and Sirius reluctantly sat down. “Let me just text the Captain. Best friend and all.”

“He won’t miss you.” He made a move to grab Sirius’s phone but Sirius pulled it out of the way.

James looked up from his conversation about Lily Evans, Chemistry Extraordinaire, and his Future Wife, to see the man make a move on Sirius.

“Hey!” James called as he ran up to the bar. “Do we have a problem?”

“No, no problem here.” The man said evenly.

“Right. You weren’t about to take my phone and you didn’t just invade my space to keep me from leaving.” Sirius said.

“Hey. You’d have enjoyed it.” Never In A Million Years Would This Man Be Remus stood up, smirked, and rolled his shoulders back before moving to throw a punch at James. Sirius stood in front of James, the fist connecting his cheekbone and he stumbled back. He touched the cut, hissing slightly. James pushed Sirius out of the way and clocked the man in the nose, knocking him over.

“Don’t touch the drinks. I don’t trust them.” James wrapped his arm around Sirius’s shoulder and walked them back to their booth. Sirius just wanted to be in bed with Remus.

“That guy was way out of line.” James said, sitting down. Sirius tried regulating his breathing but it wasn’t working. Six pints downed and he was completely sober.

“I-I’ll be back in a minute.” Sirius called, stumbling out of the bar. He grabbed his keys out of his pocket, turned his motorbike on and raced down the street. He knew the way to Moony’s like the back of his hand and—shit, it’s a full moon. His pain flares up the worst during a full moon.

Sirius felt like he could barely breathe, much less speak without throwing up. He and Remus weren’t over. They couldn’t be over. But. What if?

Sick from the previous events and worry for his—whatever, he rode into the neighborhood where Remus lived, the cold air biting against his skin. He wished he didn’t leave his jacket at the pub.

Sirius pulled up to Remus’s house, careful not to knock into anything. He jumped off the bike, his black combat boots breaking the fall leaves under his feet. He ran up to Remus’s window, knocking on it. He saw Remus jump out of his sleep, curse under his breath and open the window.

“What are you doing here?” Remus began to ask, but was cut off by Sirius clambering through his window to sit cross legged across from Remus. “How romantic.” He deadpanned.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. We don’t have to tell James, unless you want to break up and I don’t even know what we even are so there might not be anything to break up and—“

Sirius felt a pair of chapped lips close against his, soft but calloused hands wipe his tears away. It felt like thousands of fireworks and sleeping in front of a fire and Mrs. Potter’s freshly baked chocolate chip cookies all wrapped in one perfect Remus.

“I love you.” Remus said, his voice rough. Sirius hiccuped.

“You do?”

“Of course I love you, you ponce. Just because we fought doesn’t mean that I hate you.” Remus nuzzled Sirius’s nose, kissing him again.

“But—the messages. You never texted me back.” Sirius said, a flush blooming on his cheeks. He didn’t mean to poke holes in Remus’s vast I love you. It’s just—it’s hard to tell the self deprecating voices to Shut The Fuck Up when ‘I hate you’ is all Sirius was taught as a child.

Remus looked at him blankly. “I haven’t gotten a single message. I assumed you wanted space, you know, after I kicked you out of my house. I’m so sorry by the way. It was rash. I love you.” It was like a dam had burst, pent up I Love Yous staying inside over the three months of their relationship, Remus was surprised he could get through an entire sentence without saying it.

Sirius beamed. “I love you too. I realized I haven’t exactly said it back yet.”

Nevertheless, he reached to check his phone. “It hasn’t gone off once—oh.” Now it was Remus’s turn to blush. “I’ve been sleeping all day because chronic illness sucks and I guess mum put my phone on Do Not Disturb. My bad. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not a problem. I thought you were mad and you hated me and oh god we don’t ever have to tell anyone about us if you don’t want to—“ Sirius hugged Remus tightly.

“I do.” Remus embraced Sirius back. “I really do. I’m just scared that James won’t like me.”

“Like you? He loves you!” Sirius said. “Trust me. And it’s not like he doesn’t know. He practically tackled me after we kissed at the footie game. He’s happy for us.”

“I forgot I did that.”

“Yeah, we’re not so discreet in our secret relationship.” Sirius teased, kissing the blush off of Remus’s face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I love you more—“ Sirius said as his phone vibrated against him.

James.

“Wanna tell him now?” Sirius said. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Remus said, leaning into Sirius as they laid down.

Sirius took Remus’s hand and kissed his fingertips. “I love you.”

“ _Mate, it’s last call, want me to get you a pint? Also that guy that tried to drug you? Hauled off by cops. I’d say this is a good day_.” James said. Remus picked his head up, fire in his eyes.

“Drugged? You were almost raped?” Remus asked. Sirius sighed.

“This is what happens when we fight, Moons. Bad things.” Sirius said. He could hear James chuckle through the receiver.

“ _You with your boyfriend finally?_ ” James asked. “ _You’ve been pouting since you left yesterday, I was about to call him up myself._ ”

“That’s actually what we wanted to talk to you about. Moony and I are—“ Sirius paused, and Remus nodded. “Together.”

“ _Of course you’re together! You’re a married couple if I’ve ever seen one!_ ” James laughed. “ _I’m happy for you, mate_.”

“Thanks, Prongs.” Sirius said.

“ _And Remus?_ ”

“Yes?” Remus asked, trying not to laugh.

“ _Treat him right or I’ll kick your arse._ ” James said.

“Will do Captain.” Remus chuckled.

“ _I’m gonna lug Peter back to our dorm. Idiot has an 8 am class. He’s gonna need all the help he can get._ ” James hung up the phone with a goodbye.

“Just so you know you’re staying the night.” Remus said, holding Sirius tighter. “And we’re never fighting again.”

Sirius ran his fingers through Remus’s golden brown hair and smiled. 

Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
